Let me start by admitting right now that I haven't blogged in so long that I literally forgot how to even log in and start a new post. Now my fingers are flying across the keyboard so fast that my thoughts can't even keep up. So much has happened since I have last visited this space. I truly did't realize how much I missed this until right now. Right this second, my heart is pounding and my mind is racing with all the things I have to tell you.
First, here are some cute pics....
It's a super cozy day with snow falling and the children are AT SCHOOL, so it's peaceful. I am definitely ignoring other things that are screaming for my attention right now in order to spend a minute here, writing. And sharing.
The past few months have been intense. It's been busy and full of things that make you feel like a grown up. Like, the other day for instance, I was standing in the bathroom aisle at a home-goods store. Standing there staring, and making that face you make when your like super confused about what to do next - Lips pursed and off to the side, head tilted, I think perhaps I may have even grunted a time or two - you know that face? I actually had to text my mother for help. Why, you ask?
I was trying to buy a new shower curtain!!!!
Also, the thing that goes inside (YOU SEE? I don't even know what the thing inside is called!!). I mean, is it the white or the cream or the clear, or the white, or the eco friendly (what does that even mean - ECO friendly in regards to a shower curtain?) So there I am in the aisle with all the tilting and bobbing and I'm using my FREAKING phone a friend to crack the code on what type of shower curtain I should buy.
LIKE COME ON!!!! Aaaaaaaaand I don't even LIKE the one I bought.
Sometimes it's just so glaringly obvious that I am not GROWN UP enough to have the answers to things like buying a shower curtain all by myself.
FACT: I needed adult supervision to buy a shower curtain and yet somehow I manage to keep two tiny humans alive.
And speaking of them....HOLY MUTHA they are a ton of work!!
I think I did attempt to write a blog post at some point over the last 6 months, it was titled "Me and Down Syndrome are Fighting" So that's gonna stay tucked away in the old, unedited, unpublished black hole where it deserves to be for a while. It's just that for the better part of these last months we have been potty training. Turns out potty training is the ACTUAL WORST. Anyway, it's been consuming us in every possible way and finally, FINALLY, we are seeing the light. Praise HIM!!
Anyway, since my last post in July we have travelled, worked, built stuff, potty trained, started theater classes, had a basement flood, BOTH kids started school full time, organized playgroups, visited classrooms, maintained a house, wrangled kids, watched The Voice, gymnastics, fulfilled family obligations, celebrated birthdays, curled up in the fetal position (HAHAHAHA - have I lost you yet?). You get the idea. Life was happening.
Life around here isn't always fun, happy, or easy. Sometimes it's hard to get perspective. It's impossible to understand that everything is a phase. I am not going to be able to conclude with, "but it's ok there's enough love to take all our problems away" because guys, sometimes love just ain't enough. Sometimes we need patience, and energy, and knowledge, and ambition, and motivation, and ALL THE THINGS.
I am looking forward to the end of 2017. Not because it was a horrible year, but because I feel like a new beginning just might replenish me in the way that I need right now.
In the meantime, all I have left is love.
That's just going to have to be enough. Love will have to pick up the slack when all the things are depleted. It will have to be the thing that makes my kids feel safe every single night when they get into their warm, cozy beds. Love is going to be the sole survivor dragging my limp body across the finish line. Love is going to pick me up, slap me across the face, and firmly insist that I "GET IT TOGETHER" - it's about to be a new year. Stand up, be a woman, and GET it DONE.
2018 will replenish us.
Christmas magic is real this year....