Crazy Walmart Lady

Ok listen.

You know when you are getting your groceries and/or shopping (it's usually when you're standing in line) and you hear "that mom" - That mom who is talking at a really loud and almost uncomfortable noise level? Maybe not even talking, yelling(ish)? She's usually scolding her kids about some random thing they are touching that isn't meant to be touched, or standing in the cart when they are supposed to be sitting? They may even be running around her in circles? Hitting and/or fighting with their brother or sister? I've even seen it where the child appears to be sitting quietly in the cart, minding their own business and the mom is still carrying on with the loud warnings and reprimands. You know the mom I'm talking about - I know you do. We've all seen or HEARD her at some point.  Think Walmart.

I could never help but question this mother. And maybe that makes me an Ahole? Maybe I am a judger? Like why must you talk so loud to your child in public? What is that need to constantly be talking or reminding the child of behaviour that is appropriate at that specific time? Are you just used to constantly hearing your own voice and so you MUST. REPRIMAND. AT. ALL. TIMES? I could never really figure it out. Like why do you feel that we all need to hear you discipline your child? I just don't get it!!!!

Except that now I do...

My very beloved and spirited young daughter, Nola (not that I probably needed to mention her name), has made me into the "Crazy Walmart Lady." I am literally always yelling. ALWAYS YELLING. Cause here's the thing about the yelling - she's always in danger. ALWAYS one step away from a serious head injury or inflicting harm on another individual. Or going missing in a huge facility, like a rehab center for instance. LIKE ALWAYS!!!! Often my first line of defense is the yelling.

Must. Capture. Her. Attention. Immediately.

It's loud. It's sharp. It's frantic (and by frantic I mean desperate).

It's the Walmart lady. I am her. This is what I have become.

Now when we are anywhere all together, Matt is always under his breath quietly and quickly growling, "Walmart lady, Walmart lady" just to keep me in check while in public places. And although that sounds maybe like it might annoy me, I am always grateful for the reminder to turn it down a notch. Also, just for the record, I no longer judge that Crazy Walmart Lady (now I feel terrible about the prior judgement), which actually is a huge kudos to Nola that she has actually lowered my standards and expectations to levels I never imagined existed. Well played Nola, well played!

This girl throws 150% in just about everything she does (except for trying to behave when I ask her. For some reason she's good with reaching a solid 30% on that task). She's a passionate, fun, adventurous (as long as she's not scared) and active (she's got the bruised ans scraped legs to prove it) little girl.

There's about a billion selfies with me and her and they all look somewhat similar. Usually taken immediately after she has done something terrible. You know...document every moment. AHEM...The good, the bad, and the extremely terrifying.

This is the 'meltdown in the parking lot' selfie...

This is the 'run away from mommy and daddy in a HUGE rehab facility and hide until they are convinced they will never find me EVER' selfie...

She has a serious talent of being a complete and utter joy to parent and a total train wreck that makes us feel like failures all at the same time.

Nola Charlie everyone...

Crazy Walmart Ladies UNITE!!! I've also been known to be Crazy Home Depot Lady. Crazy Grocery Shop Lady, Crazy Mall Lady. get it.