So the other day we had to be at a high school about 30 min away from where we live for a play session that the high school students were responsible for setting up and managing.
The Tarantino version of the story is we made it.
All was well and the kids had a BLAST!! The students did an amazing job at planning age appropriate activities for the 4 children present. They created a very welcoming, calm environment where the kids felt very comfortable. WELL DONE!!! Even Hazel had a great time and she's a tough critic.
The rest of the story goes something like this - And I guess I should say that this was a couple days ago now because I really didn't find humour in the situation at ALL at the time. I still don't but I'm a realist so here you have it...
Nola decided that this particular day she was going to be extra pokey getting her sweet butt out the door. We finally get out the door and have to go pick up Hazel from school. I debate for about 30 seconds on getting the kids fries cause ya know - try to keep em' happy and content before we have any expectations of them. I pulled in, waited, and then left with NOTHING, cause apparently everyone and their brother need fries at 11:15 in the morning. ANYWAY.... #notjudging #iwasinlinetoo
Needless to say we are running late, emotions were at an all time high, stress levels were elevated, and I am doing my very best to not be SUPER late.
It's at this point I turn around and see that Nola is chewing on the freezer pack she took out of Hazel's lunch pail. When I say chewing I mean gnawing, with purpose. Trying at all costs to put a hole in that plastic so that she can get a taste of what's on the inside.
I FREAKED - LIKE FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAKKKKKKKKed!!!!!!!!!
Naturally, I yelled at her to hand over the bag immediately so I could see if she had indeed succeeded in her mission and made a hole in the bag. In that very panicky mom tone I yell - NOLA!!!! DID YOU EAT SOMETHING OUT OF THAT BAG?????
Nola: Blank stare
Me: DID YOU EAT SOMETHING OUT OF THAT BAG???? NOLA!!!!!! ANSWER ME!!!!!!!! DID YOU??!!!
Nola: Blank stare
Me: OMGOSH NOLA!!!!!! HAND ME THAT BAG RIGHT NOW!!!! I NEED TO SEE IF YOU PUT A HOLE IN IT. GIVE IT TO ME NOW!!!!!
Nola: No words, throws the bag on the side of the car seat that is literally the furthest away from me as humanly possible - BLANK, TAUNTING STARE.
Oh - I did mention I was driving right?!
ME (to my friend on the phone - oh yes I had a friend on speaker phone the ENTIRE time): OK so I might have to take Nola to the hospital. Tell the high school students to carry on without us. WHAT IS MY ACTUAL LIFE?!!!!! I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE MAD!!! (my friend stays on the phone for the verdict)
I pull over when it was safe, cause you see, I was driving on a highway(ish). I leap out of the car, find the freezer bag and inspect every inch.
NO FREAKING HOLE!!!!!
I think I probably gave the most effective "arresting bitch face" on the planet, got back in the car and started driving. Gave my friend our ETA, and assured her Nola had NOT ingested poison. I have NEVER been more mad at a human being in my life. Her blatant disregard for my requests never ceases to amaze. Everything I say to her is a suggestion and she gives me this look like, 'I'll take that under advisement' mom. YIKES!!!!!
Anyway...no hole meant no emergency trip to the ER and we managed to make it to the play group about 10 minutes late. We do like to make an entrance.
And there you have it. Just one day in the life of Nola Charlie. There is NEVER a dull moment.