Allie-Belle is 2

I have missed my friend, Apryl. Not a day goes by, in fact not an hour goes by, that I don't think of my friend. I get caught up thinking about what we were doing last year at this time. How she was secretly celebrating her very new pregnancy. Planning her daughter's first birthday party. Despising the fact that she was back at work, and not with Allie everyday.

I think how different things are now. I think how weird that it is that she is not here. She wasn't here to celebrate her birthday. Nor will she be here to celebrate Allie's 2nd birthday.

She is suspended in time. Thankfully, I believe that on a spiritual level she is evolving and growing. But here in my world, she is frozen.

It still doesn't seem real. I wonder where she is and what she is doing?

Until the day that Allie walked into our home for the first time since Apryl passed. As Allie came tip-toeing through our kitchen and into the family room, I felt Apryl follow closely behind her. As we sat and played together, I could almost see Apryl sitting on the couch with one leg up, knee curled into her chest, watching us. Making sure Allie was safe. Making sure she was playing nice with Hazel.

I no longer wonder where she is and what she is doing. She is with her daughter. Guiding her, helping her, protecting her and loving her. Just as we all do, as mothers with our own children.

I no longer have doubts about where Apryl is. I know that as long as I know where Allie is, I will always be able to find my friend.

These girls make my heart happy. Their futures are intertwined. They will grow, and learn...fight and love. Apryl will be happy. She will watch over them. This is what she wanted. It just feels right.


Allie turned 2 on November the 9th.

Birthdays always have a way of rewinding time. It was not long ago we were all crowded in a hospital room waiting for little Allie to land in our arms.

(Apryl would be kill me if she knew I was posting these....shhhhhh)

Off she goes to meet her little girl...via C-section.

My, my how you have grown...

We enjoyed being a part of Allie's special day. Hazel played with Allie and her cousins, Luke and Cole. The boys were great with Hazel, playing gentle and trying to offer her toys. They included her, it was beautiful.

And then...they wrestled. And Hazel watched with Auntie Bec's protective arms around her.

Happy Birthday sweet girl...we will always be here to celebrate with you!!!