While I wish all the mama's a Happy Mothers day, I can't help but remember the many painful days I spent celebrating the other mothers in my life, all the while silently aching inside to have my own child call me "mama." Those were the darkest of days struggling through infertility. 4 years. 4 Mother's Days. 4 Father's Days.
The emptiness almost unbearable. I don't know if Hazel will ever really understand how she filled that empty space by making me a mama.
I wish all the mama's out there a happy day. But I also hope and pray for all the mama's-to-be out there that are still waiting for that space to be filled. I pray for you to have strength on this day that is so very difficult for our hearts. I know that becoming a mom seems so far off and probably impossible for some of you. I know that feeling all too well. I have not, I will NEVER, forget.
I am certainly not going to sit here and tell you that it will happen for you. I won't tell you that you will become a mom when the "time is right." I know better than that. I will tell you that all will be as it is supposed to be in the end. I will also tell you, if even the tiniest part of you desires to be a mama, than your heart already is one.
So, you too deserve to celebrate this Mother's Day.
To those of you who are laying in wait, I want you to know that you are allowed to celebrate this day too...
For every time you cuddled a new baby and loved all over it like it was your own.
For all the times you hugged and kissed a child that fell and hurt themselves.
For the sloppy kisses from puppies you received (puppies need mamas too).
For the moments you felt you needed to protect a child from harm.
For spending your time teaching children and helping them learn.
For every moment that you have given something up, shared or sacrificed for someone's child.
For every dance recital you clapped through, soccer game you cheered for, drawing you hung on your fridge, picture you've taken, diaper you've changed, baby you've rocked to sleep, moment of pride you've felt...
To you I say, HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!
I am beyond words about just how lucky and blessed I have been to spend the last 2 Mother's Days with someone who calls me mama. My heart is so full, overflowing in fact, that soon another little girl will be able to fill that space by calling me "mama."
This pic is old but I feel like at the heart of this pic is what makes me a mom. Pjs, no make-up, definitely not showered, teeth brushed (maybe - but doubt it), and kids are in control. Real life.
Family is a beautiful thing.